I had a relationship for 2years.. Let's call him F .. We been thru alot.. There's always happy n sad moments.. N of course there's alot of great memories too.. The imperfect is that I couldn't take it when girls start to flirt with him n he just layan along with it.. Who would allow their love one to do that?? N who would share their love one to others?? N yea.. Jealousy started all the conflict.. I was so suffer during those time.. I confess to him said that I couldn't take it no more.. But somehow he just doesn't seems to care.. Everyone did ask me to leave but I still choose to stay.. Cause I love him.. Love him too much until I don't know n even forget how to love myself.. Quarrel.. Fight.. Got slap from him.. Everything just hits me at once in few months time.. N that's when I got the stupid idea of revenging on him n make him feel how I felt all these while..
There's when another person came into my life.. Let's just called him O?? I feel very bad n sorry to O cause I used him as replacement.. N I used O to revenge on F.. That's the biggest mistake of my life.. N a stupid decision.. O treats me very well.. I appreciate that.. but where else I still miss F .. Stupid aren't I?? F found out the whole incidence n I told him the truth.. He scold me n said I was stupid to do that.. Yes.. I admit I was stupid..
Me n F got into a very hard time.. N I drag O along with my problems that he shouldn't have.. I feel very sorry.. N very stupid.. I'm very naive n childish to think of revenging on F.. I hurt ppl that love n cares about me.. I was selfish.. Ppl now judge me n assume that I'm some kind of dumb fuck when they just see the cover of what happen.. U have to know the person n know how they r only u judge them.. Anyway, I'm glad that everything's over.. N I believe that things happen for a reason.. I've learn my lesson.. Well.. Very well.. Couldn't take the risk to step on the wrong path no more.. I'm very thankful to those who support me.. Comfort me.. N encourage me while I'm going thru the hard times.. I truly appreciate that.. N for those who judge me.. U all don't know me yet.. Judge urself before judging others..
I'm very sorry to F n O too.. If there's a time machine.. I just wish I could go back in time n stop thinking bout revenging shit n just have a 'happy go lucky' relationship with F.. Although I said until F treat me not that well.. But he somehow just makes me feel complete.. I don't know what is it in him that makes me love him so much.. N again.. Yes.. I'm stupid.. Well.. There's no such thing as time machine.. I just have to accept n face the fact that I fucked up my life.. I will make things right n prove me right from now on..
